Tag Archives: CPCS Innocence Program

It’s Time

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The waiting is over. The time has finally come….

             We are now merely days away from filing our Motion for a New Trial. Based on our overwhelming new medical evidence that proves that I was wrongly convicted, we are asking the court to overturn my conviction and to release me from prison.

            Today marks 28 years that my family and I have been in a desperate fight for justice. We were forced to navigate an unfair and deeply flawed criminal justice system that we just didn’t understand. Out of desperation and fear we made numerous mistakes that cost us years of delay and disappointment. In addition, like so many others, we naively believed that only the guilty get arrested, prosecuted and sent to prison. We now know that is just… not… true!

CPCS Innocence Program Director, Lisa Kavanaugh

             Over the last several years my amazing legal team has conducted an exhaustive search for medical records, forensic evidence and reports never collectively reviewed by ANY medical expert in this case. In addition, our team has reinterviewed first responders and doctors pivotal to the case and uncovered shocking new information.

              Most importantly, my attorneys have consulted with top medical experts from across the country and these doctors have now completed the most comprehensive and in-depth analysis of ALL of the evidence in my case. These medical experts have all come to the same inescapable conclusion: The previous medical opinions and theories that led to my wrongful conviction are unequivocally and provably WRONG.

Jen firing on all cylinders with Brian in her line of vision

              For the very first time, we are getting a true chance at justice. After reading our motion we are confident that many questions will be answered, and the truth will become very clear. More importantly, we are hopeful that it will be clear to the court.  Even further, it is our sincere hope that the district attorney will not oppose our motion and agree that it is time to right this terrible wrong.

           My family and I have suffered through this nightmare for far too long. The pain and loss we’ve endured is immeasurable and frankly, irreparable. Now we have renewed hope. We are optimistic and grateful. We have always believed that the truth matters and that one day the truth would be what would set me free. Now, the truth will finally be told.

           I have always been thankful for the love and support given to me by all of you – my family, friends and supporters. I am grateful for the support shown to my family as well. There was a time when they were treated poorly and unfairly by the media and public at large. This path has not been easy. Your love and support are truly what has kept my spirit alive. Thank you.

          Our dream has always been that one day I would be exonerated, and our family would be allowed to heal. We believe that that time is coming and that with the filing of this motion, we are actually and finally…

One Day Closer

Run For Innocence Fundraiser

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Since 1990 there have been 94 wrongly convicted people who have been exonerated and freed from Massachusetts State Prisons.

                        –National Registry of Exonerations

The Wrongful Conviction Day rally was a huge success!  Thank you to NEIP Director Attorney Radha Natarajan and CPCS Innocence Program Director Attorney Lisa Kavanaugh for their efforts. I have been told that Senator Liz Maranda, and exoneree Sean Ellis were great motivational speakers.  My daughter, Amber, was amazing leading our family and team, standing out at the event in bold, purple shirts. Seeing the pictures, my heart was overwhelmed by all of your love and support.

Amber and Anthony Brian leading Brian’s supporters

The Wrongful Conviction event was amazing at bringing awareness to those who’ve been wrongly convicted.  Imagine being arrested, charged, convicted and sentenced to spend the rest of your natural life in prison for a horrific crime that you did not commit. You are desperate for help and for someone to listen to your story. Imagine being thrown into the legal system and completely steamrolled simply because you do not understand the system. You are taken from your family, your children, your home and locked away, alone, isolated and afraid.

CPCS Innocence Program Director Lisa Kavanaugh with Brian’s family and supporters at the Wrongful Conviction Day Rally

On November 6th, the Run for Innocence (RFI) team will be holding their annual fund raiser. Local Innocence Programs rely on generous contributions, made by people like you, to hire experts and investigators to work on cases to free the wrongly convicted. With your support, NEIP and CPCS IP can continue to help wrongly convicted people like me. In fact, the CPCS IP, led by Director Lisa Kavanaugh, has used RFI funds for experts in my case. For that we are extremely grateful.  And although our legal team is still working hard on my case, we feel strongly that it is never too early to start paying it forward.

These innocence programs bring hope and light to darkness and despair. These organizations are led by selfless, passionate attorneys and include investigators and various experts working tirelessly to prove actual innocence.

Please consider supporting the RFI fundraiser by participating in this year’s event. Donations can be made right here. If you would like to register to run or walk with “Team Brian Peixoto,” just follow the prompts to register here.

Your generous contributions will enable these programs to continue to help wrongly convicted people, like me, and give so many innocent people hope for freedom and for a better tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone for your continued love and support and together, with your help, we will all be #One Day Closer.

Brian

One Day Closer

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For many years while fighting to prove my innocence, my family and I have used the phrase, “One Day Closer….”  We’ve used it to support each other when times got tough and as encouragement when spirits were low. It became our battle cry.

Understandably, this has led to questions such as, where did the phrase come from and what does it mean? With all of the recent progress in my case as well as some upcoming events, I thought it might be the right time to tell the story.

In 1997, right after my trial and conviction, I was sent to the infamous and notorious MCI Walpole Cedar Junction–at the time, the state’s only maximum-security prison. I was a young man then and very much a new jack to the prison system. Flanked by 2 prison guards, I was escorted into an 80-man cellblock at the max end of the prison. I distinctly remember the yells of the many men who were locked in tier stacked upon tier of barred cells. The pungent smell of urine and sweat filled the thick air. A cold chill went up my spine as I climbed the metal stairs and was placed in a single man cell on the third tier with only my bedroll and change of underclothes. The steel bars slammed closed behind me.

In the cell next to mine was an old timer with over 30 years in. He was an old man who looked beaten down and aged by the many years of his incarceration. That very first night, right after the last count of the day, I remember hearing the old timer say, “One day closer to wrapping-up! ” The cellblock then went dim as the tier lights clicked off and the yells dulled to eerie murmurs.

As the days went by and I struggled to adjust to the regimented routine of prison life, every night I began to look forward to final count and hearing the old timer say, “One day closer to wrapping-up.” It very much became as much a part of my routine as it was his. It meant I had survived one more day.

I had come to learn that the term “wrapping-up” was a term that meant finishing your sentence and going home. I had imagined that the old man must have had a quickly approaching wrap-up date and he was marking the days until he would be released and once again be a free man.

After many weeks I built up the courage to speak to the old timer and casually asked him when he was going home. He glared at me for a moment with distain and confusion. He then spoke, exclaiming, “I’m a lifer; I’m never going home!”

I paused. It was my turn to be confused. “Then why do I always hear you say ‘one day closer to wrapping-up’?, “ I asked.

He went on to explain: “I’m a lifer; I’m never going home. When you’re a lifer your only chance at being free comes with death. Every day that goes by is one day closer to death and my freedom.”

I was silenced by his explanation. There was nothing to be said.

One Day Closer

I spent the following days contemplating what the old timer told me. After all, I was a lifer. But I still had hope. Right? The old timer’s way of thinking was only for someone without hope. Right? I resolved myself in defiance and decided that I would never give up hope. Never! I would never stop fighting to prove my innocence. Never!!!

It was not long after that that I was moved from that cellblock and ultimately sent to a different prison. As the years passed memories of the old timer faded. Unfortunately, like memories, hope also fades.

Fast forward to 2010. I was housed at MCI Norfolk State Prison and had been incarcerated for 14 years.  My family and I had endured many years of fighting.  We met with numerous lawyers, filed appeal after appeal, and received devastating denial after denial. We were exhausted, dejected and losing hope. I decided to step away from the legal struggles for a little while and concentrate on my education rather than continue to put my family through the emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. I enrolled in the Boston University Prison Education Program to work toward earning my college degree.

The College Behind Bars program was freeing and allowed me to mentally leave the confines of the concrete walls and barbed wire. Soon then after I learned about some MIT graduate students who were creating an experimental inmate blog. I decided to submit a weekly blog about my struggles as a wrongfully convicted man and my participation in the prison college program.  As an afterthought, I decided to end my blog with a catchphrase. Impulsively, and with very little thought, I vaguely remembered the old prisoner I met many years earlier, and ended my blog with the phrase: “One Day Closer….”

The blog was very popular and soon got the attention of professors and prison school department staff. Lisa, the school counselor, commented one day that she, like some other staff, had read my blog. After reading a few of my blogs Lisa asked me, “What does ‘One Day Closer’ mean?”  Surprised and off guard by her question, I avoided answering and quickly changed the subject.

Afterward, in quiet contemplation, I was surprised at how the innocent question had invoked such a troubling and uncomfortable feeling in me. I started to think about and remember the man who, so many years earlier, had first uttered the phrase and what it truly meant. I wondered why I so impulsively chose the phase, with such little thought as to what it was, I was subconsciously feeling. Had I lost hope? As I wondered if that old timer from so many years ago was finally free, I decided I wanted to tell his story. I began to write. 

Once I finished writing I decided I wanted to share the story with Lisa since it was her question that inspired the story’s creation. I left it for her to read at her convenience. I was unsure of what her reaction would be. I expected it would be similar to my feeling as I wrote it: Sadness, hopelessness, and despair.

The next day I returned to the school and Lisa came down the hall carrying a stack of stapled packets. I was trying to read her expression and felt a bit uneasy. She smiled and said, “One Day Closer,” as she handed me one of the stapled packets from her arms. I was more confused than ever. Did she not read my essay? Did she not understand what it meant? I looked down at the packet in my hands. It was a CPCS Innocence Program application. She said to me, “Fill it out. Submit it. It’s time you and your family take back that phrase and turn it into a phrase for hope instead of despair.”  We did.

Now, in 2022, it has been over 26 years that I have been incarcerated as an innocent man. But most importantly, I am represented by the CPCS Innocence Program and my hope is stronger than ever. The love of my family and friends keeps me positive and the outpouring of kindness and support from so many continues to keep us strong. We are very optimistic that good things will be happening soon!! Thanks to so many, we truly are, One Day Closer…

2020: The Year of Dreams

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“Prison is a nightmare for those who deserve it. For those who don’t, it is a daily struggle to maintain some level of sanity. For those who suddenly learn that there is proof of their innocence yet they remain locked up, the situation is literally maddening.”

– Author, John Grisham 

Hello to everyone and Happy New Year.

The Guardians, a NY Times bestseller is the latest novel by John Grisham. This is the 40th novel for Mr. Grisham, a novelist, attorney, politician, and activist.

After a very long break, I recently felt compelled to write again. You see, I’m reading a new book (a novel) that Lisa sent me for Christmas, The Guardians, by John Grisham.  It’s about a group called “Guardian Ministries” that work on wrongful convictions. The main character, a wrongful conviction lawyer, is fighting to have his innocent client freed. Even though the lawyer and his team have uncovered evidence to prove innocence, his client remains behind bars. It is a long and difficult road to exoneration fighting a system of laws designed to put people in prison, not to let them out. As I was reading the book I came across the above quoted passage and suddenly had to stop. I read it again and then said out loud, “This is me. This is what I am feeling. He gets it.”

It is now January of 2020 and another year has passed since my wrongful conviction. It has been 24 years since I was arrested and everything I cared about was taken away. It was January of 1996 when I was put behind bars, falsely accused of a terrible crime that I did not commit. I have been fighting to prove my innocence ever since. It must also be acknowledge that it was 24 years ago this month that little Christopher needlessly lost his life. His loss is never forgotten.

Over the many, many years of my incarceration I’ve often found it difficult to express what it is like to be imprisoned as an innocent man; isolated and alone, helpless and desperate for someone to listen, someone to understand, someone to help. It’s different in prison for someone who is innocent. It’s much, much harder. Of course being confined in a prison is in of itself depressing and oppressive for all, but every day is a devastating struggle when you’re innocent. Every day. As each day passes, hope becomes an elusive concept that you struggle to hold on to. I’ve noticed, however, that the guilty seem to be able to find a psychological acceptance to their confinement and reconcile a type of peace. Perhaps it’s just easier when you know you’re guilty. I have never felt that acceptance or peace. Never. Every day that I remain locked up as an innocent man is physical and psychological torture and, like Mr. Grisham wrote, “literally maddening.”

What helps is trying to focus on all that I have and not what I’ve lost. And I do have so much. I have the love of an incredible woman who is my partner and my rock. I have a loving and supportive family who through all of this has stood by my side. I have many close friends who continue to love and support me. And I have all of you who have given me your encouragement, support and prayers. For all that I have I am very grateful. And, during the darkest of days remembering what “I have” is what gives me the strength to go on. So, I put on a brave face, tell everyone that I’m okay, and I survive another day, another year, another decade. I survive to fight.

I also have an amazing group of people working on my case, all fighting together with me to prove my innocence. And, incredibility, this year joining our legal team is a wrongful conviction clinic from a prestigious Boston law school . The professor and class of law students are now working with the rest of our team to bring me home. We are optimistic that this will be the year that we file with the court and my conviction will be overturned. Our hope is that once we present our overwhelming evidence and detail the egregious errors, the Bristol County District Attorney will not oppose our motion and take the opportunity to be a hero and right a terrible wrong. Wishful thinking?

To simply state that it is a difficult task to overturn a wrongful conviction is a monumental understatement. And, remaining locked away in prison while hoping for your conviction to be overturned is agonizing and maddening. But, there is strength and power in love, in family, in dreams, in optimism. We remain optimistic. We have hope. We have dreams. In fact, we are calling 2020 the year of dreams. So, this year, like every year, we will dream. Dream of a life where we won’t have to fight anymore. Dream of a life together, as a family. Dream of being truly free. Dream of chapter three. And our dreams are what will bring us One Day Closer…

22 years

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January 2018

It’s that time of year once again that my thoughts are filled with reflection of the year past and dreams for a better future.

This month marks 22 years since young Christopher’s senseless death. It is always difficult to think of this heartbreaking loss and its effect on so many lives. It is a tragedy that must never be overshadowed. It is impossible; however, to consider that loss without acknowledging my wrongful imprisonment and being taken from my daughter and family. That tragic day, so many years ago, continues to cause so much pain and sorrow for so many.

Jen at work on Brian’s case. She keeps photos of Brian testifying at trial and after 20 years in prison at eye level so she can always see what she is fighting for.

On a much brighter note, during this time of year we like to take time to celebrate what we like to call our Jenniversary. It was three years ago this month that my lawyer, Jennifer Fitzgerald, came to us. Since then Jen has tirelessly worked on my case, with passion and tenacity, leaving no stone unturned. And every day Jen continues to bring us one day closer to the day I am exonerated and set free. Thank you, Jen.

While reflecting on this past year, I am struck by some of the overwhelming extremes between times of excitement and thankfulness and the difficult times filled with pain. It’s those extremes that often cause me and my family to struggle with being grateful over greedy, patient over frustrated, and anxious without feeling discouraged. Some of the most difficult times of this past year have been my own personal struggle-my ability to accept my circumstances without being in a constant state of resentment and anger. At times it can be crushing; and I know those feelings are often shared by my family as well. I know my family worries about me and they are often times overcome with concern over my safety and emotional stability. Even though we are confident that one day we will be successful and I will return to them, it doesn’t always make the difficult, every day journey any easier. There is still an empty hole in their hearts and in their lives. The loss is always present. There is always an empty seat at the table. Don’t be mistaken, there were many amazing and wonderful moments and developments this past year, and we have a tremendous amount to be thankful for; but, there were also some very trying times that sometimes overshadow the good…

Amber’s baby shower, August 2017
Samantha, Brenda, Scott, Anthony, Amber, Joe, Venilde, Lisa, Joyce and Mike

For example, we were all very happy that after a long, difficult battle I was reinstated in the NEADS Dog Program. I was allowed once again to train service dogs for disabled people, something that gave purpose and joy to my days. However, that happiness was short lived. Within two months DOC administrators put me in a no-win situation that would have put my safety at risk. I was forced to choose between my well-being and my continued participation in the NEADS program. With great agony, I was forced to leave the program.

This year in particular, I struggled with some difficult battles of depression (battles I did not always win.) As you can imagine, prison is a dark place filled with anguish, bitterness and pain. Being incarcerated, your thoughts are overtaken with depression, which then becomes intertwined with day to day life in prison. Isolation from family and loved ones becomes compounded with the added stresses of being immersed in a culture of violence, drug use and just plain hopelessness. You are surrounded by desperation, anger and despair. It’s a constant emotional and psychological battle.

Unfortunately, the DOC has recently compounded the feelings of isolation and pain by creating a new regulation that will prevent some of my loved ones from visiting me. The new regulation will restrict the number of family members and friends who will be allowed to visit, thus prohibiting my aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who have been visiting me for over two decades from seeing me. Imagine how it felt when we learned that as long as I remain in prison, I will never see those loved ones again. We were heartbroken.

I also struggled this year with the news of my daughter’s pregnancy. Don’t misunderstand. I was overjoyed at the news; however, I had a difficult time reconciling the incredible happiness at the gift of a grandson, with the anger and pain of what I would miss. Thoughts of my grandchild growing up in a prison visiting room, as my daughter did, were unbearable. Add to that my daughter’s very difficult pregnancy, with numerous trips to the ER and hospital stays; we were in a constant state of worry and under a tremendous amount of stress.

A little TLC from mom after wisdom teeth surgery.
Brian is not able to be by his mother’s side right now.

In addition to my daughter, the year ended with a terrible health scare for my mother. Over Christmas my mom was rushed to the ER and hospitalized for several days. I can’t describe the helplessness and fear I felt. I could not be there with my daughter or mother when they needed me. You become so much more aware of the tall fences, concrete walls and barbed wire that imprison you when you are urgently needed by the ones you love.

This past year we saw three men I know overturn their wrongful convictions and go home: Freddy Weichel, Darryl “Diamond” Williams, and Angel Hernandez. While my family and I are so very happy for these men and their families, it is extremely difficult and bittersweet to watch people you know win their freedom. I was forced to reconcile between my feelings of happiness for them as I once again returned to my prison cell and the large steel door slammed closed behind me.

On the other side of the extremes is the tremendous amount we have to be thankful for. I always remind my family, “We must choose to concentrate on what we have and not on what we don’t.” We have so much to be thankful for. In many ways, much more than others…

As I stated earlier, we still have Jen, my amazing attorney, with all of her persistence and passion. She continues to volunteer her time and work on my case without compensation. Her dedication to proving my innocence is never forgotten. It is because of her and her persistence that this year we have made amazing advances in medical research and diagnosis. Although we had hoped to file with the courts this past year, we just could never have anticipated the copious amounts of new, exculpatory medical evidence that would be discovered and require tedious review and expert examination. Most importantly, we continue to move forward and make remarkable progress.

This past year we have also added to the medical experts who, after reviewing the new medical evidence have volunteered their time and medical opinions in order to right a wrong and uncover the truth. This has been incredible and we are very thankful for all who continue to volunteer their time.

We also received some assistance from attorneys Lisa Kavanaugh and Ira Gant from the CPCS Innocence Program. They continue to offer support and remain dedicated to helping us any way they can. In addition, Attorney David Hirsch has joined our legal team and is now assisting with my case. In recent years, Mr. Hirsch was successful in overturning two wrongful convictions in cases very similar to mine. We are thankful to have him as part of our team.

Anthony Brian’s shirt reads, “My best friend is my Papa”

Most definitely what we have to be most thankful for this past year was the birth of my grandson, Anthony Brian. He is perfect. I was incredibly blessed to be able to hold him in my arms and just experience his warmth and charm. I fed him his bottle and he contently fell asleep in my arms. His perfectly formed, tiny hand firmly grasped my finger in a moment I will forever cherish. He captured my heart. I watched both his mother –my daughter, and his father look at this little person with such love and pride. No words can describe my feelings. I was so proud of them both.

It’s the extremes. It’s the jumps from joy to pain. It’s the struggles between happiness and anger. It’s the distance between patience and anxiousness. It’s grateful over greedy. At times we can’t help but to ask, what about me and my family? How much longer will we be forced to suffer because of this injustice? Lisa recently wrote, “How do you reconcile grateful and greedy when there are people working so diligently on your behalf?” The answer is you don’t. We are grateful. Grateful for all that we have; grateful for Jen and the amazing people who give so much to fight to prove my innocence. But, is it wrong for us to also be a little greedy? Are we ungrateful because we want the wait to be over? Is it greedy because after suffering for 22 years we want it to be our turn? Does it have to be grateful over greedy, or can’t we be both?

It must be understood, every day in prison as an innocent man is a very long day. Every day without a loved one because of a wrongful conviction is a day too many. We are tired. We are frustrated. We are impatient. Do you blame us?

Above all, we remain grateful and constantly remind ourselves that we have so much to be thankful for. Through the ups and downs, we continue to lean on each other as a family, with love and understanding, and anxiously wait for our turn.

One thing is for certain, each day that passes ultimately brings us one day closer…